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blackout-escapist:

bagmilk:

*concerned white parent voice* sweetie don’t write on yourself you can get ink poisoning

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(via deeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaadpool)

Source: heteroh
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agoodcartoon:

sparrowdreams:

agoodcartoon:

Neither — Jesus would obviously eat at the Olive Garden. He’d be a fan of any place that provides unlimited bread.
- credit to Lysdexique

This just in: homophobes can’t spell “Whopper.”

Also, yes on the unlimited bread. Birdsrightsactivist would probably love Jesus.


now i’m picturing bird jesus digging half a stale hot dog bun out of the trash and multiplying it to feed his flock

(via legally-bitchtastic)

Source: agoodcartoon
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emilysheartstitchedtohersleeve:

thefunniestblogger:

pornocreep:

freemindfreebody:

skinbonesandink:

younggt:

"birds and squirrels and earth and sky"

Oh..

I freakin love my dogs.

Holy fuck. I love my dog. She ain’t ever going anywhere.

Does anyone else see “Dedicated to Rambo May he live a thousand years” at the bottom? Because I can’t. I’ve just got a dog treat in my eye is all

Nooo!! I’m already stuffed up from being sick and now I’m crying! This is not okay!!

(via donthidethesun)

Source: mouserawr
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frogmanslightschool:

I absolutely love working at the Saint Louis Zoo and I never seem to tire of taking pictures of the residents. The peafowl that roam the zoo freely are no strangers to having their pictures taken and are quite obliging to pose for a snap or two. This fella was especially gracious, and I had good lighting on my side. Normally, the Zoo closes at 5:00 during the week but I happened to be around for an after-hours event. 

Photos by Erin

(via donthidethesun)

Source: frogmanslightschool
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choosechoice:

This is my life. Like… literally my life

(via legally-bitchtastic)

Source: goldenstories
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  • first day of school: 30 pencils, 64 crayons, 20 pens, 12 rulers, 10 notebooks.
  • end of school year: 1 pencil you found in the hallway.
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electricalice:

ok, since there’s my dash on fire on several sides about the 50 shades of gray trailer let me rec this great book that came out a few years ago and have the misfortune of having a title that’s so much like that …thing… but have absolutely nothing in common with it.

Jasper Fforde - Shades of Grey

Ironic and in the best tradition of british humor science fiction “Shades of Grey” is a hilarious dystopia about a rigid society that have been following nonsensical written rules full of typos and misprints, to a point where it’s a capital crime to fabricate spoons. The people inhabiting this dystopia have lost the ability to see most of the colors in the world, those that manage to perceive a small part of the color spectrum are at the top of society, divided in classes depending on which color you can see. 

Quotes

“Okay, this is the wisdom. First, time spent on reconnaissanse is never wasted. Second, almost anything can be improved with the addition of bacon. And finally, there is no problem on Earth that can’t be ameliorated by a hot bath and a cup of tea.” 
― Jasper FfordeShades of Grey

“The cucumber and the tomato are both fruit; the avocado is a nut. To assist with the dietary requirements of vegetarians, on the first Tuesday of the month a chicken is officially a vegetable.” 
― Jasper FfordeShades of Grey

“If you enjoyed laughing in the face of death, you might like to have a crack at High Saffron. One hundred merits, and all you have to do is take a look.’
'I understand there's a one hundred percent fatality rate?'
'True. But up until the moment of death there was a one hundred percent survival rate. Really, I shouldn't let anything as meaningless as statistics put you off.” 
― Jasper FfordeShades of Grey

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Source: electricalice